I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
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