grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
