I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
