i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
