He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
