I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Randomize
