if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
