Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Randomize
