You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
