she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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