The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
