How'd it feel making her break her religion?
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
