just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
