just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
