Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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