There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
