Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
