you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
