I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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