Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
