you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
