Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Randomize
