i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
