saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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