Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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