You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
