Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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