There was a lot of him and a little penis
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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