Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
