we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
