I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Randomize
