i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
