I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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