what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
