Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I fill condoms, not promises.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize
