Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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