We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
