OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
soo... how was my night?
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
