when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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