For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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