oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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