Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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