I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Randomize
