You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
porn star boner night. come get it.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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