i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
