just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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