she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
