Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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