dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I need a beard to bite.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
