bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
