the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
We talked him into tasing himself.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
