There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
