I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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