Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Come back. Shots need mouths.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Randomize
