I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Randomize
