I think i peed on brittanys purse
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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