I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
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