i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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