I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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