What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
