I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize