he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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