wrigley field is MILF paradise
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
