If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
