i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
