Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Randomize
